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Kitsuhana brings foxes together to share, connect and communicate.

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I remember vividly, an attraction to the feminine element of animal characters--either those in folklore, those in science fiction and fantasy, and those in animation/comics.

As young as six, I wanted to change my body, to be like an animal--but it wasn't apparent to me 'what' animal I preferred.

For awhile, I went with the easy pick of wolves, since werewolves are a common animal-shapeshifter in western pop culture. But even as I was learning about the stories behind werewolves, I was also reading about Native American lore about their various shape-shifters and sapient animal gods, and Celtic stories of Selkies, who could live two lives without strictly speaking, being hostile beings. And of course, there was the draw to mermaids.

When I was sixteen, I met with my first 'kin'--the 'weres'. A lot of them were judgmental, brooding, or hostile, or just didn't clarify concepts of lore, or know a whole lot about their theriotype beyond just... generally being a pack of wild dogs snarling at newcomers and furries.

So with that negative experience in mind, I put the transcendent, supernatural side of 'becoming' myself, away for awhile. The wolf got shelved, and I went into depression for a few years, trying to bring about my desires by being really great in highschool biology. My hope was to try and facilitate the technology to bring my changes about, since I'd been shunned by those I could meet, who were on a more spiritual path.

As I went through highschool, I became an avid fan of manga/anime. I'd always seen a lot of it in the 90's, and even in gaming, felt a lot of Eastern influence, with things like kappa and tanuki, hidden in Nintendo's imagery and icons. So I went about learning that side of things--first blindly, as an avid otaku, and then, as I began to lose some of the interest in the more redundant and commercialized aspects of anime--as clearly as I could, through the help of folklore studies and historical accounts.

Eventually, around my highschool graduation in 2005, I determined that I 'loved' the fox, and felt a drive to understand it, almost to the exclusion of all other things. It's remained constant, in my life, ever since.

So in short, I have a strong, ten-year tie with the fox, now, and it continues to grow as I explore the culture behind it, my own gender, and... functioning, for once, in the role of a person. But it wasn't always that way, and it was a rough road, with few people to guide me.
Last update on January 16, 12:35 pm by Avery F. Romero.
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